Oh Leroy......

This post is in honor of Leroy the cat.  Leroy was a very persnickety pussy cat!!  He had an attitude and wasn't afraid to let anyone know it.  Your only job as a human on this earth was to pet him, rub his belly, to scratch behind his ears and underneath his chin.

And gosh forbid if his food wasn't to his liking!!  His poor owner (Gay) had to go run out and buy how many different kinds of cat food because poor Leroy had gone on strike food wise until he had better food, at least in his opinion.  His water?  It wasn't drunk out of the water dish.....it had to be out of the humidifier!  Can you see why I'm saying he had an attitude?  :-D

Unfortunately, Leroy had became sick.  After a weekend of tests at the animal hospital, it was determined he had a tumor.  The next day at home, the stress of being in the hospital was too much for him and he lost the use of his back legs and then his bowels.  At that time Gay had to make the tough decision to put him down because poor Leroy was just suffering too much.  Oh man.......  The staff at the Marta Loop Veterinary Centre were excellent.  The way they treated us....I can't put into words.   Leroy was treated with the respect he deserved.

Leroy:  I miss you!!  Everytime I go into your house its much too quiet without you there.  I miss calling you a spoiled brat.  I miss you meowing at me because I didn't bend down fast enough to scratch you behind your ears.  I miss you giving me crap because I would be too busy talking to your owner and not rubbing your belly or petting you.   I miss me and Gay talking about you and your idiosyncrasies and you talking back at us.

I hope you are enjoying your meals on wheels up in heaven! 
I love you Leroy

From a blogger Sara Frankl (http://gitzengirl.blogspot.com) who I didn't get to know as well as I should have.  She was one of those people who always looked at the glass half full instead of half empty.  The above pic was one of her favorite sayings.

Alhumdillah, these are my beautiful children:  Jasmine, Osob, Noor and Abdul-Majid (oldest to youngest).  I wish the quality was better but this is as good as it gets right now.  And if my damn computer wasn't acting up, I'd put another one up!  :-)

Depression......

Depression:  an evil, nasty word that no one will ever really understand what it means unless they've gone through it.  How can you explain to someone that you don't want to take care of your kids?  That it is necessary for your mental well-being for them to be at the babysitters 4-5 days a week.  That as much as you love them, you can't take care of them 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.  That your life a lot of days has no meaning, and that you really don't want to be here.  And that your spouse/friends doesn't understand one iota of what you're feeling/going through and that you can't try to explain it anymore becaused it just drives you more batty the fact they doesn't understand.  So what do I do?  I eat.  I escape into food.  I hibernate.  I don't go out much unless its to do errands, etc.  I don't go visit my friends houses becaused I'm more comfortable in my own home when its dark out.  I leave the curtains open as much as possible because I can't stand the darkness of the house, of being inside a jail (if that makes sense).  I don't take all my kids out of the house at once because I don't feel capable of doing that.  Drugs don't help me.  They just keep my emotions very suppressed and I'd rather feel my ups and downs even though I feel guilty when I yell at the kids. 

I'm at a point in my life where I think I'm over my depression.  I'm getting used to the way my husband is after his accident.  His brain will never be the same after being rearranged by the damn concussion; that is the hardest part of getting used to because his personality has changed big time.  May God grant me patience!!  I'm taking one day at a time.  I'm being a better mother.  I'm trying to appreciate my kids everyday and be thankful of them because they are a blessing!